When I started this blog, I decided to make it a fairly anonymous project from the get-go. There are several reasons for this. First, I wanted a venue where I could be candid about my struggles, opinions, anger, and the like without worrying about repercussions to my career, reputation, or family. As I may have mentioned before, I do have another blog that is under my real name and where I share news about my family with friends and relatives. I've had that blog since early 2006, and when a few members of SJ read it, they got upset about some of the posts that referred to them (I think they were overreacting, especially about the one mentioning a mouse in the parsonage, but I digress). I didn't want to have to deal with that again. I also didn't want any of the "powers that be" in my conference to find my blog and immediately be able to know who authors this blog. Second (and this is to a lesser extent), I wanted to protect the identity of myself and my family. Even on my other blog, I don't say what city we live in or give out obvious things like our address. I've never had a problem, but still...there are sick people out there.
At first, I debated not telling ANYONE I knew In Real Life about this blog, but changed my mind. I told Harry because he's my husband, experienced most of the h*ll of SJ with me, and I wanted him along for the journey of healing and hope. Then I told a few friends (10-15 tops) who I trust implicitly and who I wanted to experience my journey. I know that neither Harry nor any of the friends I told will a) identify me as the author and/or b) share this blog address with anyone in my conference without my permission. Harry reads this blog on a regular basis, and I know at least one of my other IRL friends does.
However, blogging fairly anonymously is a struggle for me because I'm a fairly self-revealing person, and it's kind of hard to intentionally withhold key pieces of my identity from people. That may be one of the reasons why I've intentionally let some facts slip over the past ten months. Truly, if someone stumbled onto this blog, read it all the way through, and was somewhat familiar with me (especially in a ministry/professional context), they would probably be able to put two and two together and make an educated guess that I'm the author. However, they really wouldn't be able to prove it unless they asked me outright, which gives me a measure of peace and security.
I'm not about to "come out of the blogging closet" or anything, but I also wanted to communicate that while I'm committed to remaining fairly anonymous on the blog, I'm more than willing to reveal more about my identity via e-mail and the like. I'm more than happy to answer questions, if you have any. I'm not terribly afraid of any of my regular readers (especially those whose blogs I read) tracking me down and stalking me. I just don't want to be sitting in my ordination interviews and have someone whip out a printout of my blog and hold it against me. Know what I mean?
On a completely different topic, I've started to have Braxton-Hicks contractions. I'll be 26 weeks on Wednesday, and this is when they started when I was pregnant with Nora. Of course, back then my father-in-law had just died, I was a full-time pastor, and making final preparations to perform a wedding for two friends. In other words, stress was high. I thought things might be different this time, but I guess chasing a two-year-old and occasionally carrying 29 lbs up a flight of stairs can be taxing, as well. I know what to do; drink water like there's no tomorrow and lie on my side until they go away. It's just annoying and makes me worry about preterm labor and when I need to call the doctor. Hopefully they'll go away after a week or so (they did with Nora) and not return until week 36 or 37.